Conversations with Zoe

My sweet little Mini-Me says...

Zoe: Mom, Kitt is being mean again.
Mom: Zoe, what are you doing to Kitt to make him be mean?

Zoe: Mommy (with a giggle), you know all my tricks.



Breath in, breath out.

10 Things I Ask Myself Often

1. Am I normal?
2. Will the baby fat ever go away?
3. Will I survive this deployment? I answer this one all the time, "yes."
4. But then I ask myself, "will I be sane?"
5. Are my kids listening to me?
6. Am I a good mother? (I've accepted that I'll know for sure in 16 years, 3 months, and 9 days)
7. Am I doing what God put me here to do?
8. Am I doing my part?
9. Am I normal?
10. Is that my cell phone ringing?

Zoe says...

Since her Daddy left for Deployment Zoe has been having a hard time going to bed at night. Here is how I try to put life into a 3-year-olds perspective.

Zoe: Mom, I need a drink of water.
Mom: You need to go to bed. You are stalling.
Zoe: I have a tummy ache because I'm hungry.
Mom: And why are you hungry?
Zoe: Because I didn't eat my dinner.
Mom: Ok, its time for bed.
Zoe: Nooooo. I don't want to go to bed.
Mom: Zoe, do not argue with Mommy. Its bedtime. And Mommy needs Mommy time.
Zoe: Not Zoe time?
Mom: Not right now honey. Mommy needs a timeout.
Zoe: But Mom, you only get a timeout when you are bad.
Mom: Well Mommy is going to be bad if you don't go to bed.
Zoe: Ok Mom.

Deep breath.

I've learned...

1. There are clothes I can find in my size that I am happy with.
2. That my daughters questions about death are tough to answer.
3. That I love hearing Zoe talk about Jesus.
4. If I take a shower everyday, get dressed, and put on make-up...I feel pretty good.
5. That I avoid people in public because I'm afraid they won't remember me.
6. That many other people have that same fear.
7. That my daughters questions about her daddy being gone are getting easier to answer. Its been 36 days since he left and we have 170 to go.
8. Just now, that it feels longer than 36 days.

Good eating habits

Conversation with Zoe...

Zoe: Mom, I want ice cream.
Mom: Zoe, we need to eat dinner first.
Zoe: Daddy and Grandpa don't make me eat first.

Deep breath.

Zoe says...

Zoe and I were at the kitchen sink "working" together when brother wanted some fruit snacks he snagged out of the pantry. My hands were elbow deep in dish water so I asked Zoe to help Mommy by helping brother. She was ecstatic to help!

Jaxon: Eh, eh, eh? (holding fruit snacks up to me)
Mommy: Zoe, can you help Mommy and open the fruit snacks for brother.
Zoe: Of course! Here brother, sissy will help you. (and she walks them over to the table at Jaxon's snack spot)
Mommy: Oh thank you Zoe! Brother tell sissy Thank you.
Jaxon: Welcome.
Zoe: You're welcome Jaxon.
Mommy: Zoe that was so nice of you to help Mommy. Thank you for being a good big sister.
Zoe: You're welcome Mom. Thank you for asking for my help!

And today, this crazy everyday life is my dream come true.

Sweet Girl Makes Mommy's Day!

My sweet baby girl is in the stage of wanting to help Mommy cook. I love having her right there by my side (on a kitchen chair, of course) so I can pass on all my delicious meals! I don't use recipes so its definitely something she'll have to learn over time.

Her only chore is tapping out the soda cans that accumulate on the counter and she does quite well with it too! However, sometimes she gets side-tracked and loves to do the dishes too...although its not required!!

Putting my life into perspective

I complain I have to repeat myself to the kids.
He tells me he has to repeat himself to grown men, for the next 6 months.

I wince every morning when I crawl out from under my covers and my house feels cold.
He tells me his berthing (where he tries to sleep) is 85 degrees at night and humid.

I dislike going grocery shopping.
He tells me the ship is running out of food and has been eating Navy beans for a few days and food supply is still a week away.

I get frustrated when my internet connection is sometimes slow.
He tells me they haven't had internet connection all day.

I feel sorry for myself that I'm taking care of the house and kids by myself.
He tells me how bad he just wants to be with the kids.

I wish that I had 5 minutes to myself without the kids.
He tells me he is by himself.

I get disgusted that my sheets are loose on my bed.
He tells me his bed is 6' L x 3.5' W x 18" D. And he shares his room with 86 other stinky men.

I fuss at the kids when the house is littered with toys.
He tells me his entire ship stinks from the smell of dirty men creepy up through ventilation from berthing.

I wish I could get a full nights rest without a kid waking me up for 5 minutes.
He tells me he stands a 5 hour watch from 2 AM to 7 AM, then works a full day before he can go to bed.

I wish someone else was around to clean up the litter box. The smell is yucky.
He tells me he's been sorting through rotting debris looking for survivors.

I wish I would take each day, one at a time. And remember to be thankful for everything I have because really, its not all that bad.

He is thankful.

I Got Your Back

Although I wish I could give credit to the person who wrote this...the Author is unknown.

I am a small and precious child,
my dad's been sent to fight…
The only place I'll see his face,
is in my dreams at night.
He will be gone too many days
For my young mind to keep track.
I may be sad, but I am proud.
My daddy's got your back.

I am a caring mother.
My son has gone to war…
My mind is filled with worries
that I have never known before
Everyday I try to keep
my thoughts from turning black.
I may be scared, but I am proud.
My son has got your back.

I am a loving sister.
My brother has gone to war.
My mind is full of thoughts
I never worried about before.
I pray and ask God every night,
to keep him safe from harm.
I am worried, but I am proud.
My brother has your back.

I am a strong and loving wife,
with a husband soon to go.
There are times I'm terrified
in a way most never know.
I bite my lip, and force a smile
as I watch my husband pack…
My heart may break, but I am proud.
My husband's got your back.

I am a soldier…
Serving proudly, standing tall.
I fight for freedom,
yours and mine by answering this call.
I do my job while knowing,
the thanks it sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I'll come home.
It's me who's got your back.

Facebook | Surface Force Ombudsman's Notes

Facebook Surface Force Ombudsman's Notes: "The Silent Ranks
By Robin Jones

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get
But my spouse is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line
But my job is just as tough, I'm the one that's left behind.
My spouse is a patriot, a brave and pride filled person
And the call to serve our country not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free
My spouse makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.
I love the person I married. Soldiering is our life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Military spouse."